I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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