I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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