last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
