Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
