oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
