Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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