im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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