If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
