NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
