I cockslap morals
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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