Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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