physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If I die, sorry about rent.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
