she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
