I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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