i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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