They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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