all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
