But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
