:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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