Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
