lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
