I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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