just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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