Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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