No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
