thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
