She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
