I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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