He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize