Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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