My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
