my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
