sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
