dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
