that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
