I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
