He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
