At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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