You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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