I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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