Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
