i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
