He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
