Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
