When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
