it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
