I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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