YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
