You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
