i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
