Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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