If that was your dad, he is hot
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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