): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
