they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize