You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
