god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
